If you lost your job and are scared, then this three-step strategy will help:
- Accept the reality of your situation as it is now.
- Come up with a plan of action.
- Begin executing the plan.
This three-step strategy has worked for me every time I found myself in a difficult or even a desperate situation. In this article, I will help you to stop worrying, become mobilized, and begin changing your reality rapidly.
Step 1. Accept the reality of your present situation
Whenever you face a difficult problem, especially one that seems desperate, the very first step to take is to surrender to the present moment. I know this may sound woo-woo. It may also sound impractical. But listen in for a second.
To accept the reality of the present moment does not mean giving up or even giving in to the challenge. No – this is a step that allows you to mobilize your inner resources for decision and action.
The most common problem in such situations is getting in the loop of “woe is me!” and “why did this happen to me now – at the worst possible moment!”
In other words, we begin to argue with what is. But if you think about it, that is quite insane. If you happen to longer be employed at a certain company, that is simply the way it is. It cannot be otherwise – not at this moment.
Yes, you will work on changing the situation. But no matter how hard you work at it, your results will show in some lag time. Therefore, to argue with what is now is futile. Remember:
The definition of inner suffering is burning energy on the uncontrollable.
So, by surrendering to what is now, you stop this energy leak. You will need your energy to take constructive action. So, before you do anything else, just accept the reality as it is now.
How do I accept my job loss?
Good question. Let me give you two strategies that work really well. You can do the first strategy to begin with. And if it’s not enough, then do the second one. Your results will depend a lot on your experience doing any kind of inner work.
Strategy 1. Meditate
Do some intense body movement before you sit down to meditate. This will really help you relax and calm your mind. Going to the gym, running, or even doing a nice yoga session will do the trick.
Immediately after the movement session, sit down in a meditative pose. It can be as simple as perching on a chair or using your favorite meditation cushion. Just sit comfortably.
Set a timer on your phone for 20-30 minutes. Thirty minutes is a good time for you to really let everything go and allow yourself to fully surrender. Make sure to put your phone in airplane mode so nobody could distract you while you’re meditating.
Close your eyes. Settle into your pose by wiggling a little, making sure you’re nice and comfy. And now begin to simply watch your breathing.
This will be easier said than done. Thoughts of all kinds will visit you. But remember – your task is not to avoid or expel thinking. It is to simply be okay with whatever happens without getting attached to it.
Whenever a thought comes in, especially one that has a strong emotional charge, like worry or anxiety, just witness it and let it occur. Don’t get pulled by it; don’t react to it. Just try to observe how it comes and goes – because it will go just as it came.
Keep doing this for the rest of your session – until the timer sounds.
Strategy 2. Use Dale Carnegie’s method
I have used Dale Carnegie’s methods for dealing with worry situations since I was a teenager. So, I know they work. Here is a simple and straightforward approach.
Step 1. Describe the situation exactly as it is.
Don’t make it worse than it is. But don’t make light of it, either. Just describe the situation.
Step 2. Describe the worst possible outcome in this situation.
Go to the deepest end of this problem. You’ve lost your job. What can happen as a result? Maybe you have not only lost your job but you also have no money in reserve.
Yes, you might have a problem with your landlord. You might have to borrow money. You might have to move in with a relative.
Whatever the worst – describe that. And really think of the worst possible situation but do not exaggerate it either.
Step 3. Resolve to accept the worst.
I know that this is the toughest step. But you can do it.
Look, nobody is probably going to show up at your doorstep and shoot you just because you lost a job. You probably won’t go to jail because of this. And if you probably won’t lose your life or freedom, then you can probably deal with whatever the worst may be in your reckoning.
Step 4. Begin to improve on the situation.
This is Carnegie’s final step in the process, and it belongs in the next strategy in our process. So, let’s proceed.
Step 2. Come up with a plan of action
Any plan is better than no plan at all. Just by planning a course of action, you’re telling your brain that you are no longer worried and are mobilized to solve the problem.
Here are the actions you can take to get this done. I am integrating steps from different methods I’ve learned over the years. Here we go.
Action 1. Decide on your desired outcome
I learned this from Tony Robbins, and he’s a master at manifesting outcomes. Yes, you need to know what you are aiming at before you can reach the goal.
In other words, turn a problem into an outcome. As a result, “OMG, I lost my job!” becomes “How can I get a new job ASAP?”
By the way, finding a new job may not necessarily be your priority. It all depends on your situation, but sometimes losing a job is the best thing that has happened to you.
Maybe you have always wanted to start some kind of a business. This may be the perfect opportunity to finally do that. I wrote an article on how “the cave that you fear to enter holds the treasure that you seek.” I highly recommend it as your next reading.
What is the outcome that you want to achieve?
- Do you want to get another job ASAP?
- Do you want to start a business?
- Do you want to move and change your life?
Just decide on the outcome and write it down.
Action 2. Do a mindstorming session
Mindstorming is a great exercise for your brain when you’re trying to come up with a solution. I learned it from Brian Tracy. It is very simple but also very powerful.
In mindstorming, you first write down the outcome that you want to achieve. You already did that in the previous action step.
Now, the next step is to write down 20 ways you can make it happen. This will be challenging, but you can do it.
Make sure to keep writing down solutions in bullet-point form until you have 20. The first five or so will be easy. The next 10 will be harder and harder. The last five will make your hair stand on end as if you put your fingers into a power outlet.
But no matter how difficult, keep writing until you have 20. Brian says that very often the 20th solution is the perfect one, and I can attest that this has often been my experience.
Once you have the 20 possible solutions, write a number next to each one, prioritizing the solutions in the order of their potential power to change the situation.
Then, pick the best solution from the list, according to your gut sense, and write it down as a goal.
Now – here’s the kicker. Now that you have that solution written down as a goal, do another mindstorming session and write down 20 possible ways to make that one a reality.
This exercise will really rev up your brain. Yes, it can be exhausting. But it is proven to work. Just do it. Besides, you’ll be so lost in the process of this exercise that you’ll forget you even lost your job. You’ll be totally engrossed in finding the solution!
Step 3. Begin executing the plan
Your final step is to execute what you have planned. You now have a really great plan that is guaranteed if not to solve the problem quickly or immediately then at a minimum to launch you out of your current situation into new reality.
You know your outcome. You have the steps. Put your steps into a sequence so that you know exactly what comes first, what is next, and so on.
It’s best to begin executing immediately. No need for a delay. Now, schedule your next step. Put it in the calendar.
Block a specific amount of time for it, at a certain day and hour. As Tony Robbins says, “When you schedule it, it becomes real.” I totally agree, and my experience shows it’s true.
As you take these steps, notice how the way you feel shifts. You’re probably no longer as worried as before. And you may even feel excited at the prospect of a much better future.
I hope this guide has uplifted your spirits because now you know exactly what to do. Now, go make it happen!
To your freedom,
Philip S.